A Priest's Letter To His Daughter

From THE CHRISTIAN CHALLENGE, SEPTEMBER, 1976

Dear Brita:

In your various doings about the Rectory, you some. times find yourself drawn into those spirited discussions about the affairs of the Church which flourish and abound at 26 Browns Avenue. One subject which crops up with considerable regularity is the ordination of women.
By now you realize that your father is opposed to the idea of women priests. No doubt you wonder why. Since you are a girl considerably more capable than most of the boys in the area, having at ago ten already completed 27 typewritten pages of your first novel, you might suppose that your father opposes the ordaining of women because he still feels that boys are smarter of more deserving than girls.

I want you to know that such is not the case, and I find myself writing this letter to you because I can think of no one I would rather have understand my point of view in this matter than you and your older sister.

The truth is that I believe with every fiber of my being that women are not one whit less valuable or important than men. The word ordinarily applied here is “equal,” must confess I don't particularly care for the term, because it carries the idea of “sameness.” Whatever else they may be, men and women are not at all the same. Though they share a common humanity, they are profoundly different. The physical makeup of each is different. The subtle chemicals which course through their bodies are different. The function in the life cycle assigned to them by nature is different. Their deepest inclinations and instincts, rising from the depths of the lower brain, are different. Such difference is truly wonderful. We must regard it as one of God's most remarkable gifts. It is this difference which is overcome in love. Without a coming together of these differences, a person remains somehow incomplete. You see, Brita, the only way in which people can be entirely human is to be both male and female at once. And since this is quite impossible, we are obliged to overcome our Incompleteness through love. Men and women do this in that union of minds and bodies we call wedlock.

In time you will come to experience yourself the mystery of love and marriage and mating, and will understand better what I mean.

In the meantime, it is important to remember that the differences between a man and a woman should always be an occasion for happiness and good, and must never be allowed to become an opportunity for one sex to try to dominate the other. Never, never permit yourself to be taken advantage of because you are a girl. Having been endowed with an independent spirit, I somehow do not see this as a problem in your particular instance. Still, such has been the case all too often in the past, and for that reason we must continue to work for the even-handed treatment of both sexes, und for the right of women to aspire to positions of leadership and responsibility.

But why has the Church never ordained women? Is this not a failure to treat men and women in an equal manner?

Does this not deny the right of women to aspire to positions of leadership and responsibility?
Many people think so. Among them are some who are striving to open the priesthood to women. >
However, this particular issue may not be as simple as all that, Many of the most important issues we face in life have un annoying way of coming down on the difficult side. You try to keep them under control, but they have a way of running off in all directions. That is why we must always be on guard against seemingly simple solutions to complicated problems.
The path to what is right and true is not always the straight line we might prefer. Indeed, it is more often filled with strange twists and turns, as I believe to be the case with the ordination of women. Here I find it quite possible to hold to the idea of even-handed treatment for the two sexes, and yet maintain the Church's ancient tradition of reserving the priesthood to men only.
But why? And how?
The answer to these questions, Brita, depends upon two very old Christian beliefs. They are not simple beliefs. Yet I think they can be easily grasped by a ten-your-old novelist.

These beliefs run very deep and strong in our faith. They reach down to the bedrock of our religion. They are what help make Christianity the particular religion it is. That is why we must pay close attention to them.
The first has to do with the Church's ancient tradition of looking upon God as a “heavenly Father.” The second is our conviction that, in certain parts of our worship, it is God Himself who acts.

Let us take these ideas singly, and see if we can't make them a bit easier to understand.
First of all, you have known since your earliest years that the Church ordinarily refers to God as “Father,” We use this term even though we know that God is infinitely greater than any human father. We use it even while we are aware that God is not a “man” as we understand that word. We use it because of our strong conviction that we bear a close kinship to God. Indeed, so close is this relationship that it is more Intimate than that which one person can have for another.
Now there are all sorts of words which might express this kinship. Still, the Church prefers “Father” to all others.

Why? Because this was what our Lord taught us. Perhaps you have heard once or twice that Jesus used the curious word “Abba,” when He referred to God. In His language, this was a word which meant “dear father.” You might also remember that Jews taught us to begin our prayers with the words, “Our Father …..”

I rather think that Jesus learned to refer to God in this way partly because of the Jewish tradition in which He was raised. Perhaps as long as 4,000 years ago, or earlier still, the founders of our religious heritage had begun to look upon God as a divine father. Sometimes this “Father” was a bit distant and war-like, but a father He remained, Then at last Jesus revealed to us how close and loving a father our God really was.

Right about now you might be asking yourself why the ancient Hebrews did not use the term “mother” instead, when referring to God. In some respects it is surprising they didn't, for most of the peoples of that part of the world did indeed tend to regard God as a great and powerful mother, Nevertheless, our religious ancestors thought differently. Because they believed God was very close to them, caring for them and guiding them, and because they had to choose between the idea of a heavenly parent who was primarily male or female, they came to accept the idea of a divine father. That is where we find ourselves today, and if we are to be true to our spiritual heritage, we must remain faithfully and firmly committed to the idea of God's fatherhood.

But what does a “fatherly” idea of God have to do with using men as priests?
The best way to begin my answer is to draw your attention to our service of the Holy Eucharist. First let me remind you that there come moments in the service when it seems as though God Himself must take over. I say this because it seems so utterly impossible for a more mortal man to do the things which our Christian worship dares to do. For example, only God can forgive sins. Only God can confer His heavenly blessing. Only God can offer that sacrifice we call the Eucharist. Only God can feed us with His very own life. Yet all of these things are carried out by priests during the course of the liturgy. The only possible way of understanding how this might happen is to believe that, at certain of the most sacred parts of our worship, God Himself takes charge of the proceedings, using the priest as a kind of “sign” of His presence.

This may seem rather spooky to you. And in a way it is, Nevertheless, it is an Idea which the Church has hold from earliest times, One of the first bishops of the Church, a man by the name of Ignatius of. Antioch, made this point very clearly.

And as curious as this idea may seem to you, I must confess! feel it most keenly when you, your sister and brother and mother come forward to the altar rail, for I know that what is being granted there to the members of our family comes neither from me as a father or a priest, but is rather the very gift of God, given by His own hand.

Brita, if you understand these two teachings of the Church, you will realize why it is that the Church has always reserved the priesthood to men. It is not that men have been regarded as any more important or able than women. It is only that men are best suited to serve as signs of God's fatherly presence during the most holy parts of the liturgy.

For the rest, the conduct of worship can be assigned as well to a woman as a man, as is often the case here at Grace Church. We are, each one of us, “ministers” of the Lord, capable of leading in the prayers and readings and teachings, as well as other acts of ministry. And yet when come those most solemn of all moments in our worship, when our heavenly Father draws near with His heavenly gifts of life and forgiveness and blessing, then we must keep that holy, fatherly image of Him that has been entrusted to us by the Lord and His apostles as unclouded and unconfused as possible.

I have often wondered what I would say to you if one day you were to come to me and say that you had decided to become a priest. Certainly I would not tell you that you weren't good enough, or that because you were a woman you were not suited to a particular job within the Church, Rather, I suppose my response would be to ask if you felt you could truly fulfill a role which the Church - and the great religious tradition of Israel preceding - has always regarded as “fatherly.”

You see, the question of ordaining women is not at all a matter of equality, It is a matter of keeping what we call our “symbols”” straight. Nor, Brita, are there many tasks in our time of confusion and change quite so important as that of keeping our precious religious heritage intact for those who will come after us.

It you understand what I have written, perhaps you will join me in the hope that the Episcopal Church does not forsake this aspect of its ancient heritage. To do so, I'm afraid, would be to adopt an idea of priesthood which the Church has never known. This, in turn, might perhaps separate us from the faith of the Apostles - and how bleak a proposition that would be!

Thank you for giving your attention to this matter. You know that I'm always glad to hear your opinion, whether I agree with it or not.

Your loving Dad